No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
