I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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