So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
