theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i need some magic done to my vagina
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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