make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize