yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
