I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
