That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
