Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
