Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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