If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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