She's JV to your varsity
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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