He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
