We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
