Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
