Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
