I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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