I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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