I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
