I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
