so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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