Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
