I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
