Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
