Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
thus making me awesome and them whores
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
