FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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