Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm both gender and math confused
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