dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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