I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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