Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
