I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
