the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
