is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
