So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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