you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize