And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize