i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
