I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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