hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
