My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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