Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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