I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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