Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
