I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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