Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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