Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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