bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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