end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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