It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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