I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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