That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
