The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
