I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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