like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
