Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize