Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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