Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
