I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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