If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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