Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
