I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
