at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
