I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
