tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
