that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
